Intelligent Funny Love Quotes

To start off our list of funny love quotes, what better way to do so that one of the smartest men who ever lived: Albert Einstein. He may not have best looking man in the world, but he did have some good insights on the subject:

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.

Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
That’s relativity.

Albert Einstein

Funny Love Quotes One Liners

One of the best at giving weird, strange, and quirky funny love quotes and love one lines is no other than Mr. Woody Allen. We already know he’s a strange man who married his daughter, but check out some of these hilarious love quotes that he has said both in his movies and in real life.

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience,

but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.

Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over.

I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

True and Funny Quotes About Love

Some funny love quotes are simply funny not because it is really smart or cute, but simply because it contains so much truth. Sometimes the funny love sayings can be so true that they become disturbing because it almost ridicules this thing called love that we put so much attention to.

Love is grand, Divorce is a hundred grand.

Anonymous

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Helen Rowland

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have;

the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

Men are from Earth.

Women are from Earth.

Deal with it.

George Carlin

Love is a fire.

But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Joan Crawford

All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

Shelley Winters

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.

Natalie Wood

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Henry Kissinger

Funny Love Quotes About Shopping

There have been many love jokes and sayings that women prefer shopping over their loved ones, here below are some funny quotes about  love that relate to shopping and buying. First, take a look at this funny sex quotes and see if you agree:

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

Adrienne Gusoff

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

– Jean Kerr

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

– Joan Rivers

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